Turn up the base.

Why must always I'm the one who suffering? Please don't interrupt me for acting.

I only upload some.

Tonight at 12, 2011. A better year, better memories and better adventures.
All I can say is this year pass really really fast. During this year, all I can say is I changed. This year is the worst year ever. I've gone thru all the bad and good times. I even lost quite numbers of friends, best friend to enemies. I wonder how am I gonna celebrate for 2011 later.. I'm not even prepared, sean rush me to get prepare by 1. -___-  School reopening like 5days more and going back amk hq again. Fuck. I miss school. T.T

This year memories indeed amazing spending time with you though it's a short period of 5months, those happy and sad moments. In the past, I received a lovely text and I smile so much from it, to the point where I realize I probably smiling pretty damn funny and immediately look up around to see if anyone saw me, I would just act normal and smile to myself with that one text in mind. Every night I was sleeping, I tend to look back to our memories and realize how stupid I was the month before.

I should get prepared now.

Dear you,

You taught me a lot of things in the short 5months when we're together. I got along so well with you. Things just went smoothly for as long as they could. I didn’t mind staying up until so late every night despite having school, I’d fall asleep content. Sometimes you, makes me worry for not going home. I would tell you everything I love about you and you would respond with just your breathing. Remember the one time you woke up disappointedly for not waking you up? Something happened, seeing you like this, break my heart, we even cried for hours facing each other, at that time you literally break my heart. I love you, from the bottom of my heart. And I even randomly kissed you everywhere I go.

I’ve learned that I can change to make someone happy. Before. You said you hardly remember anything. You said you're not fit to be love, let me tell you something, I believe that there is no ugliness when it comes to love. Two people can be the most annoying, spiteful, mean people in the world. However, that is what makes them amazing together. Falling in love brings out the best in people, even the worst kinds of people. I do not believe that you only fall in love with that person once again, or in that quote “there is no past tense with love; either you still love them, or you never did. 

Maybe that relationship we had, both parties in the wrong. I would say something that I thought would be fair enough but you’d leave. So I changed my ways, for you. Remember the day you asked me “how long can we last”? I didn't want to answer, but deep inside my heart, forever. And still, I've kept those changes. I learned the hard way that sometimes caring about something means that you have to let go a little. I tried to grab onto anything I could grasp and that just made me fall even harder. I told you I would release but I just tightened my grip. It pushed you away. It broke us. 

And I’ve said that so many times, I’ve tried so many things to get over you but this is the final chapter of our story, this is our last page. I don’t want this to be the last page. But there’s a lot of things we wish we could change and this one isn’t ever possible. I love you so much and I always will. Maybe we’ll look at each other and smile because of this story. This right here, this is our story. And I’m sorry that it had to come to an end. But I guess most things come to an end, don’t they? :)

I was hook up by this song Rhythm of love.
It was Mom's Birthday & Merry Christmas yesterday. And today, Ahgong's birthday, going celebrate with Cuzzie and Fummily. Hehe. Slept quite late yesterday, as many of my friend came over to my house to celebrate Mom's birthday. Didn't really go Cineleisure there instead  rotted at hougang. Pictures for the day, none. Lazy update. 6days more to New year countdown, looking forward you know. School reopening in few days more, excited much but afraid of being nag by dm. x.xGoing back to Amk Hq to report at 7Jan. Going back counselling at 17Jan. I hope 2011 going to be a better year. Short post bb!

A mistake.

Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas? Oh Santa, this is the present that you gave me? This a coward dog, who trying to hide this feeling inside me, nobody understands me. Out from lockup, isn't a good thing I was stuck in there, waiting for mom and dad to bail me up and now it's 4:00 yet I'm here posting, phone receive 20 plus message, sorry didn't reply you as my phone batt was low. Didn't have the mood of celebrating Christmas but Mom's birthday. The moment I was out I saw my mom's face, she didn't blame instead she hug me, as her daughter I felt so guilty, nobody can change you, unless you really change yourself. I stay up all night and can't get myselfself fall asleep. Mom, I love you. (One day, when you're old look back with no regrets.)

When clocks strikes midnight on December 31st. :)

Hello.
Sorry for  not posting 2days ago, having fever yesterday, my body was hot like boiling water. Now, I'm okay already! Look at the mirror, you never alone. Got two mirrors, stand between and became infinite people.

Never had the chance to quarrel with you, what's the feeling of quarrel? Bestfriend, my best companion. :) I'm always here for you Sabrina, I can always lend you a shoulder to lean on, thanks for the troubles once you helped me with, whenever I need you, you're always, always there for me, to comfront me, even though we just know each other this year? You never fail to be with me. Cheerup.OK!!!!!!!


635846.823.
Well, you know what? I got used hoping you'd be back, I wait and wait for three months and you, are still having a perfect life without thinking about how I feel towards you, extremely disappointed, but then you never think. I started facing reality, and started to get a move on.

Back to being stranger.

Boeyeah. Hi I feel like sleeping, in a sleepy mode. x.x

More pictures on facebook!
I miss school, school opening in few weeks times, Christmas/Mom's birthday coming in few days more. And new year countdown is coming in few weeks too! Can't wait for the celebration damn. You know what? I was hook by dota, dota was fun yet complicating. I love killing zombies! Motherfucker. Hehe. And so....Was suppose to go chalet end up meet Sab and tammy at point,(misstammy.)cab down to 928 to fetch Ahping, then down for course. End at 5plus? Took train to Dhoby, meet Ivan and Nat, then went to Cineleisure, bought our tickets first, ate Kfc was few mins late for moive,  watch this show 'Tron', rate that for 4/5 in the first place I thought was a boring show, but I find out that this show is interesting and touching! Show ends at 8plus, 2hours of show. Ivan was noisy. I love to eat mental apples. Haha. Homed at 10plus. Maybe going Sheesha tomorrow? :) Stay tuned? 


OH, few mins more to 18, 7months? Well I guess…I have to continue walking in my path alone. The journey will going to be hard and lonely without you, but I have to move on, when I say move on not forgetting you, but by moving on with life, learn new stuffs, maybe it hurts me badly but we're once a couple right? We once use to love each other, those fights.. Thank you for walking along with me even in a short time, that part with you has been a very memorable one, I can say one of the best… I won't dedicated much this time, I respect your decisions, I've loads of things to tell you, alot. I.... I bet you won't even remember this number, I can't read your mind, no longer. Hearing that you've girlfriend, I feel proud of you last long? :) Dear heart, sorry for all the damage.

Life's a bitch.

Hello sweetie.

More pictures on facebook!
I don't believe in 11:11, definitely no. I love butter, i love oily food and I love bbq. Meet Mayber at green today, it's raining, wind was extremely strong, cab down Sengkang to Yt's house, 'Mayber warn me I maybe his next victim' LOL prepared to bbq, went his house downstairs til 7plus, police came to screen us and police took 3 of our pictures, fucking resident complain, went to bbq pit instead ate alot of  food and was playing our poker cards!! Anyone tai tee? Or whatever, I don't know what's was the spelling. x.x Bbq was funnnnn. Left Sengkang at 10plus and homed. I FEEL LIKE BAKING COOKIES, damn. Going for the stupid course at 2 as dm had message us, after that going watch movie. Stay tuned! :)

You had her, you took her for granted. She decides to move on, you beg her to stay. She accepts you back, you're satisfied. She loves you sincerely, you take her as a joke. She had eyes only for you, you looks for others to mingle with. She gives you attention, you ignored her. She's always there for you, you don't even care. You had her, you took her for granted. The cycles repeats itself again and again. I don't understand you.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Wednesday is a boring day. 19days til school's open. 

I miss school and I miss you. Memories.

Cut my hair. Is my hair look extremely weird?

I love my fats. Lately had been eating supper and stay up late to watch movie which is some love show, without online-ing msn. Msn is boring, facebook is boring and should I just delete my blog since nobody's reading? Anyone wanna go out with me and ton during January? :/

Miss my brother? :) He's extremely noisy!!! I bet someone's missing him, LOL!
And waz yep, Daniel's birthday is coming! Which is tomorrow. 

Dedicate to Danielgja.

Happy 14 birthday dude! Thanks for being there for me whenever I need you, even though your noisy like a bird but your just like a 8 digit number of my listening friend. Enjoy your day tomorrow! 

I still love you even if you keep acting like an asshole.

Dear Santa,
Christmas is coming. xoxo. 
I FUCKING SPOIL MY PHONE LOST ALL CONTACTS T.T
Hiyo. Hardly online msn now adays, more interested on the outside world than being stucked at home. GUESS WHAT, I love my brother. And yep, I'm decided not to sell any tickets from club already. :/ Course is coming this friday! Christmas is coming, looking forward about it! Mom's birthday coming, omg! School reopening, can't wait! Countdown for new year! And "our before 7month anniversary coming too"! Went to Nex at 2plus. Kovan lan at Arena with Sab and Natnatyee! Haha. Point headed home! Going vacation tomorrow with mom! Will be back til night! Collection had been launched! And for that you can see how cui my face already. x.x I know I isn't great at taking photoshoot, well.. You know what? I'm thankful that God created me in this way. I don't have the perfect body, the figure that every girl wished for. I don't have the perfect complexion, skin and hair. Nevertheless, I'm grateful. That's because, I can be assured that when a guy falls in love with me someday, that's because he's in love my personality, and not just based solely on my looks. That's what true love is all about. :)
Can 29 march pass faster? I'm counting from now on. :(


전 그 복잡한 오늘도 많이보고 싶었어. 어쩌면 내가이 설정에 익숙해져야만, 당신은 알아요. 당신은 항상 주위되지 않습니다. 

Im your fairygod mother.

Hello. aye.('.') Sorry for neglecting my blog, after a long thought, I guess I should be back from a proper blogging because my blog speaks for me? I love my blog, even though it's simple nothing special, not really nice and even many passerbys tagging me, my blog had a wonderful memories! :) Maybe a blog doesn't need a tagboard? If you've one in your blog, passerbys will started spamming like oh,"she's a bitch" or spam some nasty comments, like nobody business so what for? Might as well, keep this blog for myself oh well nobody's reading. Back to me, skipped course today, haha. Photoshoot for today is awesome. My face, cui okay. Pimples on my face. xxxx Whatever. Looking forward for next photoshoot. Yep, absolutely! YOU KNOW WHAT, I can't pronounce this word 'Episode' like damn, it takes me for 20mins of pronouncing this fucking damn word. Decemberbaby, please be nice. You're stressing me now, you're a busy month for me. x.x I've so many event coming, so many thing to think. Well..

แต่มีความรู้สึกมากมายที่ยังอยู่หลังจากที่คุณได้ไปแล้วผมคิดว่าคุณคิดว่าผมจะวางไว้ข้างหลังผม แต่ดูเหมือนว่ามีบางสิ่งบางอย่างเสมออยู่ที่นั่นเพื่อเตือนให้ฉัน เมื่อฉันได้ยินเพลงของเราได้รับความรู้สึกเก่าเดียวกันหวังว่าฉันจะสามารถกดย้อนกลับและกลับมือของเวลาและฉันไม่ควรจะบอกคุณ ฉันได้พยายามที่จะได้รับคุณจากใจ แต่ ...

I'm a big girl now and your big boy now.

I REGRETTED THAT I MAKE MY EX BOYFRIEND JEALOUS, DAMN IM A SLUT.

IT’S SAD WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU ARE NOT AS IMPORTANT TO SOMEONE AS YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE.

Hi. Every single human life is valuable, no matter what. But guess what? The fetus isn't a human. If it was a human, we'd call it a fucking human. But it's not a fucking human. It's a fetus. It's the mother fetus, it's not your fetus. Not anyone's but the mother's. Having sex without a protection, prepare for the worst. You act as if women's having babies JUST to have abortions. No, women don't abort their babies for the fucking fun of it. They have reason, whether it's be rape, they can't support the baby, the guy lied, dump her after having sex, eventually if the women's pregnant they'd contact the man, and the man will go missing for 123 weeks. They didn't use a condom, the condom broke, they changed their mind, whatever it may be. Do you understand that when women walk into these clinics, it's the worst day of their fucking life? They don't want to abort their baby, that's the last thing they want. And I'll fight for them, as an option until the day I die. I may be 14, but I know what's right and wrong. Is your opinion wrong? No, it's not. Do you know how many possible lives you're killing? And, I just lost that man that I used to plan a babies with him.


Once again, it's been ages since we go out like this, with Sab & co. ITS BEEN LONG LONG TIME MAN. Felt a lil odd, two more use to go out with us everyday, and now... Point, took bus to Nex, headed down to our lunch and then bought our movie tickets, watched The haunted house project. OK, I did scream again, HAHA. Nat and Ivan bear the movie with me for 1hour plus, while Sab kept on covering her ear. Some part was funny. And the fucking movie no originality, similar to Old changi hospital movie, for some fucking interview, fucking lame movie, fucking scare me. -.-  Movie end bout 7? Slack at nearby Seragoon there, homesweethome! :)

I HATE IT WHEN HE TREATS ME THE WAY HE TREATS OTHER GIRLS. _l_

I know, it's over. But I still can't force myself to forget you. I hate this frailty which still evokes memories. Images I'm accustomed to of those days, Whichever way I looked I only met with tears, I want to escape reality, so that I could free myself from the memories, so my life could move forward for once. I tell my heart to forget you, order my brain to control my heart, but no matter how I direct it, but my heart and my brain refuse to walk together. When the familiarness that we had, still hurts me until now. The old images. As much as I devoted myself, I still get a disappointment. How many times must I shed tears? Meeting you, I began to understand love. You bought true love and attached it to my heart. And now I've changed. Ever since I came across and meet you, I learned something new, that I'd never encountered. Because for me, before, love is something to seize. Love is something can change me. But now, I changed,  love is something to give away. I just realized and understood it, when I was able to love you. Maybe, the friendship we had will stay as a.. friend.. only..

Wazzup, and again back to proper post ok. Life was fine, yeah.. Didn't expected that Christmas is coming so soon and I'm so looking forward about it! Singapore no snow? HAHA. I guess Christmas I'm going to be a lonelygurlx1996@hotmail.com. OK, this is childish. Ohoh, Mom's birthday was during Christmas!! Hahahahaha, 13December going back LorAhSoo, damn god. He's not hot, LOL. So yeah lately lazy to blog! Craving for mac spicy now, nope I didn't rot at home, going bbq later at East Coast,  following Sab, haha. This is what I guess, the love you had for your ex isn't the same as with someone new, each love is different. I think the love is just “inactive”; you can’t delete someone you truly loved. It's almost like a facebook account, you can just inactivate your account, never delete it. If you want to and the time is right you can recreate it, but the pages have changed and so have you. So.. waiting for mom to buy for me and prepare off I go to meet Sabmamamamama! :) AYE.

When I act as if I don't care it is because I really do. I'm just afraid to show you.