I hope that I didn't made the wrong choice

It's true, when only you realize how much someone meant to you and you regretting later? It's monday today, dismissed go home straight, onlined and eat. It's been a long time since I blog. It's hard finding a true friend, yes I have 3thousand of friends from facebook, but half of them are fake. Friend never betrayed each other. I think I should rant it out here, because there's so many thing that came crashing me down. And so you might not know, it's been a year since I've turned into a goody two shoes. I kinda mizz nightlife. :( I look horrible with my makeup on.... Update tumblr, www.rebeccakoh.tumblr.com HEHEHE. Okay, shall end here.

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if you ever come back

Yzy, I'm glad to have you here.
Happy birthday to you silly. :)


On the morning I woke up, looked for my phone. Brush up, ate breakfast. Everyday when I'm young, I have pet dog, named doggie. He would usually woke me up with his cute lil fur around me. I kinda mizz him. :(( The only creature on earth who loves me more than himself. Whenever I saw a dog look like exactly him, it will reminds me of him. His cute eyes soft fur mesmerize me. And then I left him.. I think I wasn't good enough for him, so I found him a good owner. So yep, hi. Saturday night. I went to meet Joleen at Compass. Lack of money, lack of freedom and even lack of penis. Darryl and all came afterwards, took train to Dhoby, then somerset reached the destination went to Cineleisure, bought Darryl stuffs, Scape. Ate Kfc. Saw quite number of familiar faces. Me, Joleen and co catch a late night movie, Scream4. OK, it's Nc16. Violent show, there's this part where by, you will be shock by their sound effect, what's more we are sitting infront from the movie screen like two place away from us. Walked again.. And then homesweethome. :)


This song is awesome. 

pictures and thoughts

Today, I woke up. I feel empty inside. This isn't the first time has happened recently, in fact few weeks ago. I'm trying to pintpoint what is making me feel this way, and then blaming stress, exams and school, then blaming everything that wasn't truth. However the fact is, I'm feeling empty because the person I love is miles away. Well, hi guys. What a tiring day...... During the 19&20 my school is bringing me and my classmate to the Simei ITE hahahaha. 

I was so happy that it seemed like nothing could bring me down, but a fear that I knew all too well was creeping up on me, as it had done with all of my past relationships. I was now so afraid of what life would be like without you that I convinced myself that everything would be easier if I ended our relationship before I began to rely on you too much. I pushed you away. I let you go. 

So, I'm stuck.

how memories change.

Isn't it funny to see how the memory works? It's like a paper, or chewing gum, that you can shape from one thing to another. So yeap, sup. It's been long since I update my blog. Sometimes in life all you  need is someone to wrap their arms around you, and assure you that everything is going to be just fine. Because when you have him with you, you will never be alone. Have you ever miss that special someone so deeply? Hey and of course, I'm with you. Even in silence you can understand each other, and even a one minute hug can change your whole entire mood.


Who wouldn't like sweet guy. I really miss those times, when he cares and would do anything for me just to make me happy. Every simple occasion will become big one because of his sweetness. Other girls will jealous cause I have the guy who loves me and treats me like princess. In your life, you don't need a perfect guy. All you need is a guy who loves you so much and willing to give his world just to make you happy.  

formspring.me

hi, ask me.

I acted like it wasn't a big deal, when really it was breaking my heart.

Everybody made mistakes, don't they?

Hi!! I only uploaded some, because Picasa is being a bitch, for not allowing me to upload pictures at one go. Dang.... Take a look in facebook photo album instead! ! ! What a boring sunday..... School tomorrow, monday blues~ Went to Punggol with Jeremie to take my Itouch. We crap loads of nonsense inside the bus, down the bus and everywhere lah. Hahah. And then homed. Basicaly yesterday went out with my threesome awesome friends! What a messy day with full of HSA, nb I swear I won't fucking hell go bugis anymore again, fucking hell................. z.z

It's just me growing up...

I  realize that I've grown fatter and shorter. You know what? 4years back or maybe 3years ago, I used to have curly hair, do not know how to put on make up, I miss my childhood, who doesn't? :)  Wassup woke up at around 10, texted Siyi, bathe and prepare everything, Siyi came to my houe, left my house headed down to Mall. We went to MacDonald inside for aircon!!!!!!! I swear the weather is fucking burning me, I'm going to get blacker and blacker again hahaha, while waiting for Jeremie we took pictures with her. Woah, I'm like damn retarded la. :( Jeremie came, bought his frolicks, headed down to Town. Trained, reached 313 walked to Cine, then scape to buy Jeremie stuffs. Well..... then ate our lunch at foodcourt. Then trained to Bugis meet Jeremie friend, sucha unlucky day hsa came, walked to Arab street for Shesha, damn lucky I hide my fucking cigg on my pants, hahahaha. What a day, then hougang. Smoke, karkang mall, homesweethome. 

Rumours are nothing but lies, Records are nothing but past

I have an awesome friends around me.

More pictures on facebook.

Happy birthday Rebecca!

Though, it was simple. Tears of joy ran down my stiffen cheeks, touched yet upset. Who needs boys when I've got awesome friends? 

I really don't know what to do. People tell me loving someone is the greatest thing in life, but I know how you feel when you get hurt, and I know running is easy and it spares your feelings, and... And I'm babbeling. Forever is an awfully long time to wait, and time I've learned. Too much it's kills you, grow old that we wait will never happen. dwell on the past about people, and things are off without.

If only mistakes we’re that easy to undo.

Lazy to upload picture xx. Mom buying me a Dslr! COOL OR WHAT HEHE

Hi guys, yesterday was an awesome day for me. I'm back from plaza, town/cine and punggol! Woke up at 10plus, called Natalie. Prepare everything, I'm always late. Natalie came to my house, then meet Jeremie. Then headed down to Ion, then walked to Cine, can you even imagine  the journey it's so fucking far what's more I'm wearing high heels, dang.. Reached already, walked around. Meet Siyi darling, woah it's been long since I met her!!!  Decided to watch movie, the "Sucker punch" the show was like damn no link la, the sound effect freak me out, I was damn shock by the sounds effect. Hahahah. The whole show, was damn touching. Fuck why on earth they exist such an evil person? Yo sucks man. Cine was so pack yesterday. Saw quite numbers of familiar faces.  The movie ended at 8plus. Went down to Outside old town white coffee to smoke. Headed down to Punggol with them. At 10, send Natalie home. Cab home with Siyi and Jeremie. Home sweet home at 11plus. Hehe. What a day!


That should be me..

Learn to appreciate things around you.

Took this from last year, if I wasn't wrong, before June Holiday, ohhh memorizes. ~

I remembered this picture I took this in the salon with Reena. Just came back from school excursion at E18hteen Chefs, named Benny. At Fusionoplis. He's a drug addiction in his horrible past. In addiction, he has been in and out during his teenage years, which means he's a having difficulties changing himself. His teenage year turns out to be a Fifteen year's nightmare.  A new leaf, a new beginning, so he decided to lead a normal life. He even teached us how to bake brownie and he showed us the steps and ingredients, we even ate his food. Hahaha. And then homed around 6. :)

At the age of  9, your dad buys you ice-cream, you blame him for dripping all around your lap. At the age of 10, he paid for your tution-fee you thanked him for not bothering it. At  the age  of  11, you went to a birthday party, you blame him for not fetching you home. At the age of 12, you failed your PSLE, you blame him for not giving you tution. At the of 13, when he gave you tution, you blame him for being naggy. At the age of 14, he came back from work,  looking for a hug, you thanked him by having  your bedroom locked. And then at the of 15, you went to lockup, you blame him for bailing you out  late. So... what's the world would be like in 10years later? Learn to treasure things, never take things for granted. Cause you'll never know, until it's gone. I love them even though I did many stupid stuffs in the past...   

I'm not sure if I'm happy or completely lost right now. Definitely a little lost, but aren't we all? I have no idea what I'm doing in my life, or where I'm going. And I think I'm okay with that right now? For the first time in a while, I noticed that I've changed. Maybe for the best, or maybe not? But does it rlly matter? When we change, we can never go back.

And then, after some days living in the past, she returns to her future.

Is he like this with every girl he knows? Does he do these special things for me for every other girl? Does he tell all the girls he talks to the same thing he tells me? Is he talking to other girls on the side, or am I the girl on the side? Am I the only girl he’s talking to? Does he talk about me to his friends? Will things change after we do things? Woah. Welcome to my mind. :) 


Hey, I came along to watched this show, Notebook yesterday. Five times. Over and over and over again. I watched it all night, trying to figure my own life out. I felt like every word Noah said to young Allie (who was engaged to someone else), was directly spoken to me I tried to picture my life from now, 2o, 30, 40 years from now. What's it look like?  


So, hi I'm Rebecca. I maybe didn't choose the right one. I didn't follow my heart. I go for the easy way, because there is no easy way. The only thing more impossible than staying, is leaving. I don't have the courage to destroy anything. To destroy it all. To figure it out. I just can't. So here's the deal. If you want something, go for it. Life really is too short to wait. Me? I waited too long, and now it's too late.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

Ever felt like the world was crashing down on you? Hey there, I'm. with. you. Follow me and take my hand, cause you're not all alone here. Look, "I'm with you", I am. I'll walk this path with you being lonely. Being lonely is just being independent by yourself. Many times in my life, I stretched myself too think, never knew how to say no. In my mind, if I did all I could. As you can imagine I was greatly disappointed. My motives misguided and lost. I should have given without looking for anything in return, I was investing care in others looking fora return in love, but the the return didn't always find it's way back to me. And as expected,  I went down in flames. Oh boy, you're giving me a hard time 

I'm with you.

I'm rlly pretty lazy to upload pictures. Well.. because blogger is such a bitch, it's doesn't allow me to upload more than 5pictures. For every 5pictures you have to wait like 10mins? Wanna see photos? Check it out at facebook dude. I'll still blog though, not always, at least once a week or maybe twice? Fuck that, there's so many things running thru my mind now. I need a time machine, if time could return back as before, I will choose my childhood, with no problems in my mind. I will change myself. You know what hurts the most? When your ex shouted at you, when you did nothing, nothing wrong at all. I blame him. I blame his ex-girlfriend. I blame his upbringing. I blame so much, and I had resolved this year to eliminate blame from my life. I'm a heartbreaker, heartbreak, a rll bad heartbreaker. I didn't know that things turn out this way, definitely I don't know why. That feeling is killing me. Dang it, that's where the part I'm stuck at it. Rebecca suck it up, face it. Settle issues by yourself, independently. I'm lost, so badly. 

Rock on! Scissors, paper, stone. And you sucks my sock.

OK WHY AM I SO RANDOM HAHAHAHAH

Why am I not good enough?

Made a wrong turn, once or twice
Dug my way out, blood and fire
Bad decisions, that’s alright
Welcome to my silly life
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood
Miss ‘No way, it’s all good’, it didn’t slow me down
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated
Look, I’m still around

Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than f*ckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing
You’re f*ckin’ perfect to me!

You’re so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you’ll make it!
Filled with so much hatred…such a tired game
It’s enough! I’ve done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I’ve seen you do the same

Oh, pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than f*ckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing
You’re f*ckin’ perfect to me

The whole world’s scared so I swallow the fear
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer
So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it’s a waste of my time
Done looking for the critics, cause they’re everywhere
They dont like my jeans, they don’t get my hair
Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time
Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that..?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby..!
Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than f*ckin’ perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel
Like you’re nothing, you’re f*cking perfect to me
You’re perfect, you’re perfect!
Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel
Like you’re less than f*ckin’ perfect
Pretty please, if you ever feel like you’re nothing
You are perfect to me….

Friendship.

I don't show people how I feel. I bottle everything inside. Not everyone needs to know everything that's going on in my life. When people ask how I am doing, I always say fine. Even if I'm not. I don't want to be one of those people who are constantly complaning how much they're life sucks or how everything is going wrong. Unlike those people I won't seek your attention. I will always listen to others' problems even if I have my own to deal with. Cause that's how life is, we all have our own obstacles and I don’t think I need to share them to the world just for a little attention.

On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.

Day out with Natnatlim. :D

Handsome right, hahahah.

Hello. ^-< 

Compass point, Natnathouse, 174, Plaza, Homesweethome.

More pictures on facebook.

I realize that my daily stories of my life changed. I made new friends, my best friend that who are willing to listen whenever I needs them and talked about the world and everything beautiful in it. And that life would always move forward. Everything changed. Every night, images of my past running thru in my mind and I always thought to myself, 'If history could be repeated, I wouldn't make any mistakes.' As that goes, I crafted a 4month plan that involved in my life, I decided to change my life. For me, for the things that I wanted.  

And this time, I'm truly looking towards the future and accepting that this chapter of my life, whatever it was, is over. I want to welcome what's to come with a completely light and open heart because now I realize I'm finally letting go of what's false in my life to let in what will be true. I finally realize that the most important person I could ever love, is myself. And part of loving myself is recognizing that I deserve someone who doesn't just say that they love me, but actually really does. And to give that person the chance, I'll weed out those who would fake it. Because we choose the lives we live and I choose truth and joy. I choose love.

Fairytales.

I haven't been online too much, blame laziness. Yeah, FUCK. It's wednesday tomorrow. And I'm not excited. Well, studies is bored I know, you see if you didn't study, what's bout your future, for sake of my future, therefore I shall study real hard. Haha.
She loved you every second of everyday. Waits for your text while you're still playing those computer games. Hugs you tight whenever you have a problem. She'd rather be with you than going out with her friends. Calls you  every night just to makes sure you're okay. Doesn't care if her parents would kill her for coming home late just to spend long hours with you. Saves her allowance just to buy you something sweet during monthsary. Brings down her pride just to make the relationship works.

Every tear drop that falls underneath her eyes are all because of you, she never did anything to hurt you. So why do you keep on ripping her heart if all  she wanted to do is to make you happy.

Lens.

http://www.chubby-bunniess.blogspot.com
http://www.chubby-bunniess.blogspot.com
http://www.chubby-bunniess.blogspot.com
http://www.chubby-bunniess.blogspot.com
http://www.chubby-bunniess.blogspot.com
At yours at only 11, so what are you waiting for? Hurry!

如果這就是愛 在轉身就該勇敢留下來.

I feel like dedicate for them.
2Tammyone siaoeh,

This bitch of mine who gave me advise, be there for me when I'm down, when I needed her the most, she never failed to be there. She helped me with my studies, walked to school, recess, smoke, skip classes together. We even had a argument with each other, but we still love each other, like how I used to love her.

Sabwiner Bluethingy,

The girl who are stressed with her studies, but whenever she's with us, she always put a smile on her face. She, never fail to do that. She lend me her shoulder to lean on, she, lend me her listening ear to listen when I'm down or angry. I'm disappointed in myself for not attending her birthday, though she said nevermind, but I guess deep in her heart...

Natalie,

Hi girl. I'm bored without you in english class. I hope you come back after the suspension and make some noise in the class, study together, smoke together, pay attention in class and get our fucking butt up for detention, god. Natnat lim, once cheer me up.. She won't leave me alone when I need her help.

We were once stranger, once enemies..
Every obstacles we overcome, make us stronger. Through thick and thin, up and down. Always make the wrong choice, after having boyfriend always, ALWAYS leave your aside, when we broke up I started to contact your, and in the past I always think boyfriend will give everything I want, but I was wrong. But.. after we broke up whose the one who are always there for me? Whose the one lend her shoulder to lean me on? So from that onwards, I started to cherish my friends. :)