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Your fucken attractive :(

Damn, I like you. Even if we talk online most of the time, I can't help but smile every time we do. I can't help but wait for you to go online, or wait for you to reply. It's sad I can't see you physically, but talking to you is more than enough to me right now. You made me smile................................

Drowning in my own fucking mind.

I really miss being happy. Lately, everything has been bringing me down and nothing seems to be going right anymore. One after another, my days have been long, boring, and horrible. Nothing is ever interesting to me nowadays and everything just sucks. I miss how carefree I was back then, how days were actually fun and I had something to look forward to. But now, it’s the same routine day after day. Boring and depressing. 

Relationships fall and whither because eventually someone stops trying and it doesn’t feel the same. The first couple of months or even years it may be the best thing you ever wished for, but eventually someone loses feelings, gets to busy, or doesn’t even bother to try. You know what? Because they’re comfortable. The beginning is all about the chase. Can you keep up? If you can then you’ll get the hang of it and then you won’t want to try anymore. You aren’t afraid to lose them because they’re yours. Arguing leads to fighting and it just gets worse from there. It all flashes by so fast. So, cherish what you have.

And after a while, you stop getting long, thoughtful good night texts too. It’s like your boyfriend stops telling you why he’s in love with you. And yes, you go from having something to look forward to in the morning to nothing. 

I find this all too familiar. He takes you for granted and that’s what it is. He thinks you know that he’s in love with you without even him having to say it. No wonder they say after 6 months, the honeymoon period is over. It’s up to you how you want to keep the flame alive.

To the moon and back.

It's friday night, I feel a bit under the weather. Sitting on my bed, with aircon on and i'm on action for blogging because I got back my computer! YEP I THINK SO BACK AND PLAY MY DDTANK ALREADY YAY!

如果我變成回憶

Sup. My com is still not fixs, fuck my laptop. So i didn't get a chance to blog. :( Life's been up and down. And of cause, I still love my single life. SA is coming, I'm stuck. For not studying you know right. Well........ i'm always stuck. When I said stuck, it means that I tend to fall in love easily. That's me. I can't even change that, I'm suck. And maybe that's the reason why I can't even have a relationship. Or maybe............ .. ...... ..... ..... .... .. I can't believe that I came across to received your phone calls after texting you, it's weird without arguing with me. You will always find a ways to argue with me, I mean like seriously I don't care whether you still love her more than me or even not anymore all I wanted to tell you is I kinda miss you, your voice and your black face. Take care black one. LOL 

:)

I don't feel like chasing after anyone anymore. It's either you stay in my life... or i'll just open the fucking door for you. Pointless. I don't get it boyfriend is a waste of time. I would never believe in love again. It's so fucking gross. Whatever you likes someone else, that someone else just don't seem to be interested in you. Guy A came. guy A likes another girl B. Then Guy B came along. Few weeks later guy B fall in love with you. Girl A don't seem to be interested. I just don't understand, then you will start to regret. I just feel empty. Had my Muay training today so tiring ok i'm going to the bed now

Family and bestfriend are better than boyfriend.

Hi. Very long? Ya, i know it's so long ago since I last blog and I was wondering anyone still reading my blog? Hmmm. It's rot for more than 2month plus. I had been enjoying life with my family and friends. Most of the time earning money. Money is really hard to earn. Well.... exams is coming, after holiday end. Can I promote? :) I will study hard for sure!! Computer is still not fix, kinda disappointing. :( Have you ever miss your past so much that you wanted to go back? Have you ever reflected about your bad past that you wanted to cry in the room yourself? Something that had been bothering me so much, yes I can't express how I feel. Hahaha, I'm use to it. I shall post this short. OKIE larve you guys!☺

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?

 Life? Hello. I'm havin' great life. Anyone mizz me? he he he. i know that my blog is dead due to my laptop is dead. :(  OK I'M GONNA POST HERE. MY BLOG IS FREAKIN DEAD

Fuck distance, be here.

Hello! I'm using iPhone for blogging. See my dead post. :( *look* hehehe. No pictures, but soon. Yep, my laptop spoilt and pictures gone. :( Damn sad.... I've consider to have braces first, then get myself a new desktop!!!!! YAY!! How are you doing everybody? Sometimes I wish I was little kid again, I want someone to take of care me, I want someone to clean up my messes and reminds what's right and wrong. I want to be awed at, even though my doing isn't cute. Someone that pamper me, feed me and pat me to sleep. I want to be yelled at before I made the same mistakes again. I want to be held at someone's arms and said: 'I will be with you when you need me'. Guy that truly love me from the bottom of the heart, a guy that would call you middle of night just to ask you how are you doing. Twenty years from now I'm going to how silly am I. Sometimes we have to fight in terms with the past, and sometimes we bury out regret by promising to change our ways.

I love RebeccaKoh!!

Hi everybody! Nope, I'm not Rebecca black, I'm Joleen!!! ;-) 

Was on the phone with her just nao, she hold my call again!!! Atleast once she will hold my call when she's otp with me. :( Beetch! I miss her la sia.. i bet you guys miss her too. She's too lazy to update, eh no. Her lappy's down..... miss her ok!! Luvluv. (L).
-
Do check out my blog too, yea. Definitely, there's some lifestory about Rebecca too.
www.smexybutterfly.blogspot.com

hello, it's been a long long time since I blog. I was deleting old pictures in my phone, i had to say, it was pretty hard deleting ours. :/

My world came crashing in on me. Looking back, I realize I've done a big mistakes. Evil has caught up with me. Karma. So the rl ques was 'why me?' but 'why not me?' you reap what you sow.

THANKS ALOT

If  I could get the chance to make someone happy and prevent fights, by making them feel... like a worth something. We argue..... i'm tired of argueing with you. Maybe i should stop bothering you, i know m annoying. I'm sorry. Everyday I tell myself that your not longer a big part of me. Sometimes I really believe it, sometimes I actually think that you don't mean a god damn thing to me. Every time that thought appears I feel relieved, I feel less vulnerable, it feels like you can't affect me anymore.I've repeated this thought so many times that I've almost made it true. At the same time it makes me so freaking scared of moving forward, cause what happens when you stop loving someone? What happens when you someday wake up and realize that this person actually doesn't mean anything to you? How can you manage to go from 1000 to 0. Cause that day will eventually come. The only thing you have left is the beautiful memories that you hopefully will carry with you your whole life. But I'm so afraid of that day coming, because I don't want it maybe i should stop contacting you. 

the best promise you could ever break.

This is to those crazy jealous girlfriends. I have to admit I am one of you. I never wanted to be, never thought I would be, but then I fell in love for the first time and found out what is like to see the love of your life with his ex. You're my whole life you're my whole world. I'm so sorry I turn in to a selfish bitch from time to time, my job in this relationship is to work on that, and I can tell you that I'm going to. And to all those other crazy girlfriends like me this is a warning, don't let it get to the point of no return, change, it's that simple. I know how you feel and I understand when jealousy gets the best of you but I'm sure your boyfriend loves you "just as much as mine loves me" (which is a shit ton)'so.not.true'. And if we are just crazy and freakin' out all the time how are we showing them that we love them back, so work on it, all of you. That’s my advice for the day, basically to sum it all up crazy bitches need to stop being crazy bitches.

You’re perfect because everything you do makes me smile. Because every second spent with you is worthwhile. Because when you laugh at me, I laugh too. Because everyone else can see I’m devoted to you. Because I love your eyes and the way they shine. Because you don’t tell lies and you’re so cute when you whine. Because when you get mad, you can’t hide it. Because even when you’re sad, I can find it. Because the way you hold me sends shivers down my spine. Because I never stop thinking about you. It’s not fair because you’re so perfect and no one else can compare.

hey.

It's getting so hard to be around you. Because every time I see you, I see a stranger. You've changed, and I just miss the person you used to be. The one that cared, the one that wouldn’t ever hurt me, not if they could help it. But now, now all you care about is yourself. Maybe you never did care in the first place, I'm not sure. All I know is the person I loved so much is no longer there. Nothing is left of you. Everything's changed, and I miss the person you used to be.

i dont even know whats going on.

I guess this is what it feels to move on. It's hard for me to write my feeling down and explain how much I really miss you. I know your not reading but.... looking at your profile, seeing you talking to girls it's killing me. I always thought that move on, it meant that one day you woke up, suddenly didn't have the same feelings anymore, but i was wrong, totally wrong. Everytime I said, all those mean words, trying to provoke you deep down in my heart I still care. I see now, I still love you. I'm learning how to stop my missing and loving not to interfere with my life. I guess I need to learn how to be alone again. I.... wish you goodluck in your new girl. Takecare.

I think tonight I love you.

Look  me in the eyes, even though we're over... 

It  doesn't  matter that I haven't knowing you forever, what matters is that you had me smiling since day 1. Sorry for the lack of updates I’ve been so horribly busy and tired this week rot at home eat sleep online.... like almost.. everyday.. everytime... Plus I’m on the verge of  falling sick again (and just when my month-long holidays are coming! damn it)  fuck  you. I think one of my biggest flaws is not knowing when or how to give  up. I  find myself looking back and remembering all the good times of the past. Sometimes in life all you  need is someone to wrap you around your arm. I think I should post often! 

Probably a number

Getting attached is easy. But really where does it all start? The calls? The text? The number. That's the first thing, their number. That's a path to texting and calling. Late night messages and calls, specially late nights.. That's when you think clearest the most, the moment where your heart speaks, not your mind. That's when you really begin to get attached. The moment you know you can reach them in an instant... just a few numbers away. So is it really just a number?